06-23-2016, 03:09 PM
Hi!
I'm new here too (-: I really, really enjoyed reading your poem. To me it was like a poetic characterization --and I like that. I do believe I got the story...I had a friend in high school ....mania=bipolar and salt=lithium ....am I right? It can be an incapacitating problem , I believe. But she said sometimes after she started the meds , that she didn't feel herself. I was never quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I do think it would benefit from pruning and tightening with the edits already mentioned. I'm not always a fan of rhetorical questions, but I must say I loved your ending. It's the inner thought inside the narrators mind. A difficult question, without a short answer.
Great visuals, extra weight, orange curls, cardigan....I get a picture, and a feeling.
Overall a great job. I hope you post an edit.
Good luck-V
I'm new here too (-: I really, really enjoyed reading your poem. To me it was like a poetic characterization --and I like that. I do believe I got the story...I had a friend in high school ....mania=bipolar and salt=lithium ....am I right? It can be an incapacitating problem , I believe. But she said sometimes after she started the meds , that she didn't feel herself. I was never quite sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.
I do think it would benefit from pruning and tightening with the edits already mentioned. I'm not always a fan of rhetorical questions, but I must say I loved your ending. It's the inner thought inside the narrators mind. A difficult question, without a short answer.
Great visuals, extra weight, orange curls, cardigan....I get a picture, and a feeling.
Overall a great job. I hope you post an edit.
Good luck-V
"Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?" -Vicomte de Valmont, Dangerous Liasons