Thank you, all I appreciate the time everyone took to read and comment.
LizzieP: Thank you for the phenomenal close read and for letting me know what came across to you. I'll give some thought to the photograph line, and some of the interplay with light and smoke. Much appreciated!
Achebe: Thanks. I'll eventually get around to working the falling chair poem. I'm just going through my last few years of NaPm to see what should be worked. I'll take the note on the two 'you's. I agree on the in vs into. Glad the sonics and ending are working for you. I noticed pale light too and decided to still post as I hadn't thought of anything else I liked better yet--but it won't survive the next revision. Appreciate the feedback. Best
Kolemath: Nice solution to line one. Like your comments around warmth (Achebe touched on some of this too). I'll give some thought to that part. I liked and will consider the emptiness as maybe instead a coldness of sorts. Thank you for walking me through your interactions with the poem. All very helpful. Best
LizzieP: Thank you for the phenomenal close read and for letting me know what came across to you. I'll give some thought to the photograph line, and some of the interplay with light and smoke. Much appreciated!
Achebe: Thanks. I'll eventually get around to working the falling chair poem. I'm just going through my last few years of NaPm to see what should be worked. I'll take the note on the two 'you's. I agree on the in vs into. Glad the sonics and ending are working for you. I noticed pale light too and decided to still post as I hadn't thought of anything else I liked better yet--but it won't survive the next revision. Appreciate the feedback. Best
Kolemath: Nice solution to line one. Like your comments around warmth (Achebe touched on some of this too). I'll give some thought to that part. I liked and will consider the emptiness as maybe instead a coldness of sorts. Thank you for walking me through your interactions with the poem. All very helpful. Best
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson