How We Have Changed (Revision 1.2)

[Lizzie]

I watch you while you sleep,
nestled into the depression -- I like the possible double meaning here -- could be describing the bed or the mood of the room. 
of the bed, that my body left,
a shared warmth I no longer feel.
Has this emptiness always been 
a part of me? The moon leaches
the light from my skin like smoke -- I like how smoke ties in with depression, darkness, and shadows, and I like how the fire image ties in with "shared warmth." However, I can't quite get this image to gel because smoke rises up naturally but the image is of vitality being involuntarily suctioned.
rising from a fire, and I settle -- your line breaks are strong: "settle" and "leaches" both highlight the discontent.
into the darkness of our small room. -- I like the allusion to "walls closing in"
The pale light rests on you, -- it's interesting that the light here seems nurturing for this character while the moonlight "leaches" from the protagonist. Seems like the moon leaches because it has no light of its own and then gifts that light to another. A bit unfair, in my view!
holds you motionless,
like a photograph, a captured moment. -- "photograph" was a bit expected for me, but "captured" does play into the captivity theme. You could replace the line and say just "a still frame" after motionless.
The slats of the blinds rattle -- this is my favorite part, because the rattling makes me think of chains. It's almost ominous. 
in the night breeze, and their shadows 
cover you in bars. I feel the hair
on my arms bristle at the captivity. -- It's a great twist that both characters are held captive.

Loved spending time with this! Thanks for sharing.

lizziep