Certain Love

[LunaDeLore]

Andrias,

I think your revision adds greatly to your work and I only have some suggestion to further enhance the work:

Self-love, dying to hate, holding hands,

Cross your fingers and masturbate

Eat your heart out from its emotional sleeve

Next to where the roses ejaculate their seeds, ------ I think you could omit "their seeds" although I know that would take even more length off the work.

budding a new-born spring, Incandescent feelings,

showered in blood, crying tears softer than mud

Savoring sweet nothings from vacant voices

Like chewing a poisoned candied apple

Drawing from the well of indifferent choices

Salting the womb, the still born at noon

Forsaken a vice broken in disgust

Never satisfied until it costs a life… ------- Does it really "costs s life" or does it take it?

Good work,

Luna