Vestiges (ballade) Revision 4

Vestiges (ballade) Revision 4

Achebe Offline

The Fourth Stooge

Posts: 580
Threads: 71
Joined: Oct 2015

06-17-2016, 04:13 AM

RC - commenting on this a bit late in the day. The edit reads well, but you might reconsider 'gaunt'. The original 'through' was neutral and therefore better. The adjective doesn't do anything for the line.

~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

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Messages In This Thread

Vestiges (ballade) Revision 4 - by RC James - 05-17-2016, 10:38 AM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) - by Achebe - 05-17-2016, 06:38 PM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) - by Achebe - 05-18-2016, 03:10 PM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision - by RC James - 05-18-2016, 09:18 PM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision - by Achebe - 06-17-2016, 04:13 AM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision 2 - by RC James - 06-17-2016, 08:57 AM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision 2 - by D.Russo - 06-17-2016, 12:12 PM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision 2 - by RC James - 06-17-2016, 05:36 PM

RE: Vestiges (ballade) Revision 4 - by RC James - 10-07-2016, 07:05 AM

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