06-15-2016, 09:14 AM
I appreciate everyone's readings; I've simplified things and hope the essence isn't lost!
Thanks to Mark and Leanne for poking holes in the weak title, word choice, and metaphor connections.
@tectak--never has poem demolition been so entertaining. thanks for being blunt. I was avoiding the wordiness subjunctive, but realize I was losing more than gaining by keeping things in present tense. (btw...finishing together is easy if you have the right partner).
@vanity--i hope the sexy is more sexy
Thanks to Mark and Leanne for poking holes in the weak title, word choice, and metaphor connections.
@tectak--never has poem demolition been so entertaining. thanks for being blunt. I was avoiding the wordiness subjunctive, but realize I was losing more than gaining by keeping things in present tense. (btw...finishing together is easy if you have the right partner).
@vanity--i hope the sexy is more sexy
Thanks to this Forum
