Awkward Years

[albinododobird]

Thanks for being brave and sharing this!

I instinctively want to change some of the lineation. For instance, in the first few lines, I would write it thus:

I am twenty two and mania has abandoned me
leaving twenty pounds in its place,
sandbags around my hips and waist.
I wonder if the orange curls
snaking from under my fast food visor
are secretly ugly

At the end, I think I would change two lines:

Now, all I have is a dog
and some daydreams

I like how you refer to the poem as "this lousy poem." It really successfully communicates a sense of insecurity.

I'm not sure about the use of the word "buffeted" in the beginning of your second stanza. It means "to hit or strike" something, but you're not being hit or struck from hospital to hospital or gurney to gurney. It's possible you're using the word in an unusual way, but if you are, it's not clear.

I'm also not sure if I like the "and" at the very end of your first stanza. I don't think it's necessary.