06-14-2016, 04:15 PM
I'm glad I provoked such a lengthy response. Thank you.
I agree with you
There is no message here and I felt that and tried to use the humour of the fly and Nutella for a reason to force these words that when rolled of the tongue appear to have meaning.
But of course being zen as fuck I realise they don't.
Will try to improve as always
Thanks again
Thanks dale
I am currently travelling and writing on a phone so the clunkyness of the writing is down to that coupled with my laziness. I will a dress all of your points in this piece and further pieces. Especially as the last thing I want is to preach. I'm really just noting my findings in this mess of a world we live in. rhetoric makes up a huge part of life and I am happy to force nice sounding words together to create a thought.
Thanks for the criticism
I will try to e
xpress myself in a less preachy fashion in future
I agree with you
There is no message here and I felt that and tried to use the humour of the fly and Nutella for a reason to force these words that when rolled of the tongue appear to have meaning.
But of course being zen as fuck I realise they don't.
Will try to improve as always
Thanks again
Thanks dale
I am currently travelling and writing on a phone so the clunkyness of the writing is down to that coupled with my laziness. I will a dress all of your points in this piece and further pieces. Especially as the last thing I want is to preach. I'm really just noting my findings in this mess of a world we live in. rhetoric makes up a huge part of life and I am happy to force nice sounding words together to create a thought.
Thanks for the criticism
I will try to e
xpress myself in a less preachy fashion in future