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Suburban Camouflage
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06-12-2016, 05:19 PM
Thank you, Mark for the in-depth critique . I especially appreciate all the little recommends on ways to shorten the length. I'm going to rehash it a bit on my laptop. Now I am obsessing over the 'eyes bounce' reword...lol...I don't like 'gaze' and now when I read it I just see, well....eyeballs bouncing
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Suburban Camouflage - by Vanity - 06-11-2016, 04:41 PM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Achebe - 06-11-2016, 04:50 PM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Vanity - 06-12-2016, 01:20 AM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Magpie - 06-12-2016, 03:57 AM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Vanity - 06-12-2016, 05:19 PM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Achebe - 06-14-2016, 10:14 PM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Wjames - 06-15-2016, 03:22 PM
RE: Suburban Camouflage - by Vanity - 06-15-2016, 04:06 PM
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