Kiting (edited)

[milo]

Hello, Milo! I really, really enjoyed this...I've read it through three times to soak it in. I like its cadence, it's beat. I like what it's saying, and how you've said it. I see the 'man flies kite/kite flies man' on the surface...then I see dreams of flight, daydreams--and then a theme of parting- maybe a romance, or an ending of some sort.
I'm sorry this critique isn't more specific. Sometimes I think a sign of a good poem is when I find layers in it. Maybe even a layer you didn't intend. But, it got me thinking...
Good luck--V

Thank you for commenting on what you thinks works, it is very helpful, are there spots or words/phrasing that you think aren't working? That helps as well.