06-12-2016, 04:25 AM
I very much like how you are taking a philosophical stance with your poetry and are using it to explore this idea. However before you explained your poem I DID see your poem as contemplative but more along the lines of Epistemplogy. (Questioning knowledge and wha we know is true) This is because you begin your poem with sense based words like delectable and sightless. These lines make it seem like the primary focus of the poem given the name of it is true that the question around this poem is more pondering empirical senses rather than the loneliness of death.
If what you were shooting for was to make the speaker seem that outside sources were untrue and the only truth that carries towards death comes from within that is fine but the finality of that realization, the point where that idea is formed for the speaker never really happens. I would recommend looking over this poem not as a person arguing an idea but someone coming to this conclusion so the reader can better follow that train of thought, otherwise they might get lost.
If what you were shooting for was to make the speaker seem that outside sources were untrue and the only truth that carries towards death comes from within that is fine but the finality of that realization, the point where that idea is formed for the speaker never really happens. I would recommend looking over this poem not as a person arguing an idea but someone coming to this conclusion so the reader can better follow that train of thought, otherwise they might get lost.