It's True, The Earth Is Flat edit 1 (Tiger, Tom, Achebe)

[ellajam]

Sorry, forgot we were in mild!

My fault, forgot to put the invite to serious crit in the op, I always welcome serious crit but hate to miss out on the comments by those not up to a full in-line. I want it all.

Thanks so much especially for your opener. I am always so tempted to try out all the wonderful suggestions sometimes I forget to put the poem before my fun, I'm learning.

Its supple skin might solve that line, I hesitate because the detachment of the supple skin spooked Hes and I figure that's a good thing.

I've thought about the punctuation in the midsection a lot and haven't come up with the right answer yet. A ? at L6 with work but screws the next line and I like the whose/who's. I may be able to change that up, I'll think on it.

The so so line, very unpopular, don't be sorry, it's my job to solve it, I appreciate the big fat arrow, thanks for thinking about it, it pushes me to. And besides, great solution to the heaven line. Soured on is rough, yes.

I had the same reaction to the couplet, I liked it too much to change it even though it was just a placeholder, leaving that rhyme is my version of being wild.