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[Todd]

Hi mitsuch,

Let me give you some comments on this piece. I think the challenge you have with this type of poem is that it's difficult to make something that feels like philosophical propositions carry emotional power. An example of a similarly themed poem that you might consider as a model to give you some ideas would be Louise Gluck's "The Wild Iris".

True

Edit 1:

We stand in this delectable land,--Why is "we stand" actually necessary to the line. What does standing add.
a casing, enveloping truth.--I wonder if this casing is the body and the ephemeral soul or spark is that truth.

We live in a world sightless,
our faint ideas of the world.--Sort of Plato's theory of the forms.

A false belief is delivered,--Allegory of the cave, shadows. This sort of line though is really flat reportage. Imagery making it more evocative might serve you. Moving from general to specific might serve you better.
a love that leaves us bland-- I do like the bland in this line. I'd still look to saying it with imagery and implying the ideas.

a complex matrix of man,--wordy
a cloak over sincerity.

An embrace, that fixates,
an untrue fleeting grace.

We lie at the mercy of us,
As we let ourselves into the embrace.

I don't want to hit you with too much in this forum. I hope some of the comments are helpful.

Best,

Todd