06-09-2016, 01:19 PM
Hello!
I clicked on this right away, with a smile--I played drums in high school and college--so right away, I loved the topic ;-)
I like this 'in the moment' action poem. The syllables are mostly a 'da da da' three beat (sometimes it varies) it's like a rat-tat-tat of the drum. I feel the beat as I scan the words . I feel your edits are going in the right direction, pruning this poem down a bit strengthens it.
Good luck! -V
I clicked on this right away, with a smile--I played drums in high school and college--so right away, I loved the topic ;-)
I like this 'in the moment' action poem. The syllables are mostly a 'da da da' three beat (sometimes it varies) it's like a rat-tat-tat of the drum. I feel the beat as I scan the words . I feel your edits are going in the right direction, pruning this poem down a bit strengthens it.
Good luck! -V