Baby's Breath (edit)

[milo]

SECOND DRAFT
 
"Baby Breath"
 
All day hiking long blue mountains 
to the tops, three

I don't think you need "to the tops"

tiny strides to match your mommy's step,
little duckling flapping upward
patting along the path,

probably "padding" instead of "patting".  The rest of this is good.  you are maintaining a nice iambic rhythm.  My instinct would be to cut "your" but it would ruin your iambics.

panting breaths from a narrow face
until the color of a flower leaps onto your lips.

  "color of a flower leaps onto your lips" is quite good.  I question the point of "narrow" face as it cries out as a red herring but it is not overly bothersome.

 

“Look, Daddy!” you say as you pluck and sniff
and give the gift.

  so, here I am more seriously questioning the need for second person as it is a little bothersome and a little twee.  also, "pluck and sniff and give" is a bit awkward, maybe something a little more limber.

 
All night in the doze of the Shenandoah,
the wind whispers inside
the forest, weaving with your breath, humming 
rhythm in the air,

pretty good, though the switch to anapaests is noticeable if you are wondering.  Also, technically, you don't hum a rhythm, you humm "rhythmically" or you hum a melody and both of those have challenges so I understand your choice but the incongruity is bothersome if you were wondering.

little nest of baby blankets on your chest,
rise and fall, rise and fall,
gusts and drafts whine and sigh,

mostly good, "whine AND sigh" is overtly inefficient and should be changed.

silver walls of nightlight, shadows in the window,
midnight’s cold and colored voice 
 
no more to my core
than warm winds of you asleep.

overall, pleasantly sonic and theatrical.  I like it.  "Warm winds" - maybe needs some tinkering.  Perhaps "warm breath" or some such tinkering.

Thanks for posting.
Good luck.