06-09-2016, 09:36 AM
Thanks to everyone for reading the poem. I've posted an edit. 
@UBP - I've tried to clean up the character references.
@lizziep - I tried to play with the baby's breath flower idea and feature the literal meaning more prominently. And yes, it's important to properly hydrate on hikes.
Thank you for appreciating the slow speed of the poem, as it's winding down; this helped me better understand the interaction between imagery and event.
@davidf - Thanks for the suggestion of beginning with stanza 2. This guided the edit heavily. Now I start with the activity and end with the lines which wind the activity down to sleep.
@UBP - I've tried to clean up the character references.
@lizziep - I tried to play with the baby's breath flower idea and feature the literal meaning more prominently. And yes, it's important to properly hydrate on hikes.
Thank you for appreciating the slow speed of the poem, as it's winding down; this helped me better understand the interaction between imagery and event.@davidf - Thanks for the suggestion of beginning with stanza 2. This guided the edit heavily. Now I start with the activity and end with the lines which wind the activity down to sleep.
Thanks to this Forum
