06-07-2016, 08:31 AM
(06-07-2016, 05:09 AM)Leanne Wrote: Hi David, thanks for your comments and I'm glad it got you thinking. On your suggestions -- rooting in the mud is something pigs do. More permanent objects are rooted -- and of course mud is a bit more slippery than nice solid soil, so the foundations shift and there's not much that object can do about it. I can't change to 'would you ever have guessed' for two reasons: one, it ruins the meter and two, I just wouldn't say that. I try to write in language that I would use or it seems disingenuous to me.
I appreciate you stopping by, thanks again.
Hi Leanne, that wasn't quite my meaning as regards rooted, I'm still not sure that you want to suggest rape primarily. Anyway I guess it is just a really ambiguous word for me in terms of tense and whether or not it is being a verb. And if I read it as sexual then the word 'blown' just before it becomes inelegant, but maybe only to me.
Sorry that my dislike of the vava sound in 'have ever' made me overlook the rhythm. I actually would say 'ever have' as I am odd and mostly incapable of avoiding seeming disingenuous. I never managed to pick a principle camp or time from which to enlist my vernacular.
Another thing strikes me now as I continue to find the poem rewarding in terms of construction. I feel accused and somewhat unjustly. Are you really addressing yourself to power ?
Anyway thanks for the engaging read again and I hope that I have not outstayed my welcome already.
D.