Bracken (or AYLI)

[tectak]

Hi tectak - I couldn't understand why you started with some (in my opinion unnecessary) alliteration, then abandoned it suddenly.
That distracted me from the rest of the piece. The sudden change from third to second person towards the end was another distraction.

Hi Achebe,
I don't really write alliterative poetry out necessity, and so I agree with your comment, but counter by saying I do it because I like doing it. That said, you were on the button when you noticed it stopped. That's when I stopped liking it. Not complicated.
On the subject shift I am worried about this aspect. There is the issue of "stealth" which must be addressed, and shall be, and so I expect there may be a change in the terminology of the last few lines rather than just a change of a word. This is one of those awkward endings that seems simple to bring off but when you try a wrap or two they all seem lacking in one way or another. I need to rework it. Thank you for mentioning it. Incentive.
Best,
tectak