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An old ideal, for a new hope
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06-04-2016, 10:39 AM
I love the overall message of this piece and it rings true with me. The only thing I would fix is the rhythm. A poem like this, with such purposeful rhymes, needs to be structured in its rhythm as well. There are just lines that seem to have extra words, they aren't quite in sync. Otherwise I think it's a great piece!
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| Messages In This Thread |
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An old ideal, for a new hope - by Jonsy3k - 06-02-2016, 06:27 AM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by QDeathstar - 06-02-2016, 12:47 PM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by KittyL - 06-04-2016, 10:39 AM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by DavidF - 06-06-2016, 09:37 PM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by ariii - 06-08-2016, 11:30 AM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by Andrias - 06-08-2016, 11:45 AM
RE: An old ideal, for a new hope - by mitsuch - 06-09-2016, 12:10 AM
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