06-02-2016, 11:59 PM
Hi Kolemath,
I notice that you made an edit, but it nearly slipped by me. I noticed the same with one of your other poems, don't be afraid to bump the post to the top of the pile when you've done an edit, otherwise no one will be aware of it.
Regarding this edit, I think it makes for a much stronger poem now. The title change is more appropriate and the difference between the two elements of with and without caffeine seem clearly defined. I like what you've done with the caffeine influenced elements and the constantly flowing prose without line breaks and punctuation, it works very well.
Good edit,
Mark
I notice that you made an edit, but it nearly slipped by me. I noticed the same with one of your other poems, don't be afraid to bump the post to the top of the pile when you've done an edit, otherwise no one will be aware of it.
Regarding this edit, I think it makes for a much stronger poem now. The title change is more appropriate and the difference between the two elements of with and without caffeine seem clearly defined. I like what you've done with the caffeine influenced elements and the constantly flowing prose without line breaks and punctuation, it works very well.
Good edit,
Mark
wae aye man ye radgie