06-02-2016, 10:22 PM
Hi Kole,
I appreciate your comments. I'll make a tense change on the girl's fought area. I agree. I also here what you're saying on the last lines. I'm not sure I want to tie back to the leg braces for a variety of reasons. if I were to mix it up, I may go back to Alchemy and the transformation of base metals. I've messed around with that a little. Stalk/field earlier (though not in the first version) give me a bit of a connection to the current lines. I guess what I'm saying is I'm still thinking about it and haven't come up with anything new yet that satisfies me in its tone.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Best,
Todd
I appreciate your comments. I'll make a tense change on the girl's fought area. I agree. I also here what you're saying on the last lines. I'm not sure I want to tie back to the leg braces for a variety of reasons. if I were to mix it up, I may go back to Alchemy and the transformation of base metals. I've messed around with that a little. Stalk/field earlier (though not in the first version) give me a bit of a connection to the current lines. I guess what I'm saying is I'm still thinking about it and haven't come up with anything new yet that satisfies me in its tone.
Thank you for reading and commenting.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson