05-26-2016, 07:31 PM
Hi lizzie - the line endings are abrupt, and upset the rhythm of what should be a mood piece. Eg the second last line, where the 'my' produces an unsatisfactory enjambment.
This is one pome that I feel would benefit from rhyme and some form of meter, however irregular.
At present it's just prose.
This is one pome that I feel would benefit from rhyme and some form of meter, however irregular.
At present it's just prose.
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe