Name Game

[kolemath]

Thank you for the brilliant comments Universal Child, Joseph, and Todd!  I especially appreciate the line by line analysis from Todd and the cogent suggestions.  This is my first post to the forum, and I was too chicken to start with the advanced sections.

 

 

I've hazarded a revision below.  Thanks for poking holes in the weak lines folks. Quick question, did my revision from Joe to Cletus refresh the reading?  Should I dig deeper in this section?  Thanks for everything! -Kole

 

Name Game





 
1
Your name

staked in your brain
like tracks of a railroad train.
 
If you had a different name,
would you be the same?
 
2
From birth you are staked with a name
hammering over your brain
like thousands of rattling trains
cuffing out rhythms the same,
 
This is your name!
This is your name!
This is your name!
 
Do names limit lives
as tracks limit destinations?
 
Joe the plumber
pulls pipes in Pittsburg.
Bob the builder
hammers houses in Houston.
 
But where’s Cletus the theorist?
Should have named him Theodore.
 
3
Imagine naming yourself.
 
Slower.
 
Imagine naming 
 
your 
 
self
 
without the long traveled tracks
your name has rattled along
rattling you away.
 
Now, imagine 
your 
self
unnamed.
 
These pseudonyms won’t last.