Thoughts on Free Thought
#2
The poem is written in a neat style, mind telling me what it is called? Smile
I also like the overall subject
I commented about punctuation in 2 places, but overall think you should look for places where punctuation might be needed

(05-25-2016, 02:38 AM)Seanwd98 Wrote:  I'm free to think and do as I please.    I would consider changing order: "I'm free to do and think as I please", some time in the poem
Unbound and freed by Socrates-    Might cut and, and put in some commas...Unbound, freed, by Socrates-
To live and dream and spread the word   
Of lessons often left unheard.
For from within, one finds their peace

I'm free to think and do as I please.
No walls or chains or locks or keys  Might consider punctuation.."No" or "or" I guess works equally fine, just wanted to show how it could look "No walls no chains, no locks or keys"
Can suffocate or dominate
My innate need to cogitate.
For from within, one finds their peace.

I'm free to think and do as I please.
Opposing vile tyrannies-   Opposing the vile tyrannies? just to keep the flow of the text
A call to all, though few will heed.
By my own will I intercede.
For from within, one finds their peace.

I won’t be bound by foreign will.   
No rule so bold and brash and shrill
Shall box my precious sanctity
Of individuality.
By my own will I have found peace.    I would like this to repeat the mantra like "Within myself I have found peace" or "I have found peace by my own will" to keep the rhyming
An alternative to repeating the whole first line could be (in whatever order):
I'm free to do whatever I please
I'm free to think whatever I please
I'm free to think and do as I please

Thank you for sharing!
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Messages In This Thread
Thoughts on Free Thought - by Seanwd98 - 05-25-2016, 02:38 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Joseph Didis - 05-25-2016, 05:11 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Seanwd98 - 05-25-2016, 08:33 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by LunaDeLore - 06-21-2016, 12:48 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by kolemath - 05-25-2016, 10:05 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Seanwd98 - 05-25-2016, 10:32 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by kolemath - 05-26-2016, 12:25 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Seanwd98 - 05-26-2016, 08:59 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by XavF - 06-07-2016, 06:56 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by rhymeguy - 06-20-2016, 03:17 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by rowens - 06-25-2016, 12:49 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by AshimZed - 06-27-2016, 10:43 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by T-Ape - 06-27-2016, 10:33 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by kokomeki - 07-05-2016, 10:59 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by billy - 07-07-2016, 05:39 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Janterra - 07-13-2016, 11:10 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Hennessy473 - 07-16-2016, 09:42 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by PaddyFields - 07-22-2016, 05:50 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Robert - 07-22-2016, 10:55 PM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Jo Frumple - 12-01-2016, 06:59 AM
RE: Thoughts on Free Thought - by Coquette16 - 12-04-2016, 11:35 AM



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