~Seeds~

[kolemath]

Thanks for sharing!  I can definitely hear Eliot in these lines.

~Seeds~
From a Guilty Heart to a Broken Soul
Inspired by Orson Scott Card, T.S.Elliot, and a friend of mine who called himself my poet.

---

I'm sorry
Sorry sorry please
  Seeds of death within me dwell
This silence, like a winter freeze
The sorrow of a broken soul ----does a broken soul apologize? why?

Your goddess 
Was created not
  They find their feed in happiness ---who's they?  I like the alliteration of "find their feed!"
To dwell above the one she thought
A flame that could not go amiss  ---I'm confused by the imagery here. Who's dwelling? Dwelling above a flame? Do flames "go amiss?" How so?

That word
With power to change a heart
  Their joy in my repeated pain ---How is the heart changed if in "repeated pain?"
Innocent bond that ne'er would part ---It's my opinion to avoid archaic forms, case in point: "ne'er." Write the modern form?
Το shinning screen, a hidden stain ---Totally Prufrock here!

My mind
With guns and knives it asks
  They grow in all I dare to touch ---What grows? "Guns and knives?"
An empty soul, not made to last
A fallen world, not made for us---Great closing lines!
     ~s.a.

Thanks for sharing!!!