In Sense - Edit2

[Caleb Murdock]

"Not sure if this is just a pointless soup of abstractions, or worth the work of improving."

I want to comment because you helped me with a poem, but I have to admit that the poem does read like a soup of abstractions.  Do you know what it is that you are trying to say?  The poem is similar to the type of stuff I produce when I'm not feeling inspired but want to write something.

Since you already know that the poem is heavy with abstractions, I won't point that out.  Why don't you try writing out in prose what the central message of the poem is, and then try to find a way to say it in poetic language?

I also find it interesting that you've posted this though it needs a lot of refining.  I don't post a poem until it is pretty much finished, and then I post it to find out if I missed an obvious problem.

I also find it interesting that you posted this though it needs a lot of refining. I don't post a poem until it is pretty much finished, and then I post it to find out if I missed an obvious problem.

Each member of the Pen works differently and can use the workshops as they see fit, within the guidelines posted. Every member will not be able to crit every poem. Please keep comments focused on the poem, not the critic. Thanks. ella/mod -- There is too much scolding and censorship on this forum. I was simply making an observation that we seem to work differently.