My Heat

[Caleb Murdock]

My Heat


You are sleeping; I like to let you sleep.
You are my boy of paradise
who finds my bed each Friday night;
and I am the man who never was young.

I live my life for nights with boys like you,
yet what has any boy to give?
You verge from one excitement to the next
when not sharing your rhythmic charms

or dozing when the act is done.
And when the animal has left
remains the intellectual disgrace
who has never felt the surge of his own sex.

I am a modern man, all projection;
the new breed of electronic mover,
fingers on keys and thoughts at heaven's teat;
you are my impatient feet, my fever.

You make me complete – that awful cliché!
You save me from the lonely ache.
The moist, supple root holds aloft the limb
that is dry and tired and about to break.

So run, my twenty-something tom,
more of a boy than I was at eight;
be what I can be only in my dreams:
my animal, my sap, my innocence, my heat.


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I originally had "dash" for "verge".  I'm not sure I'm using "verge" correctly.

In response to crits, I changed "tiger" to "tom" in the final stanza, and I altered the capitalization.