The Poet in Retirement

[dukealien]

Dukealien, I didn't mean to insult you when I asked if you knew what iambic meter was.  Since the line was just missing an unstressed syllable at the start, but the rest of it was regular, it seemed obvious to me that it was iambic.

But truly, the amount of rhythm in this poem is pretty high judging from what I am seeing these days.

By the way, what was "gross" about the whipped cream/whipped shortening line?  In that line, the speaker is simply going back to being picky (he/she wants real whipped cream, not the cheap substitute).

Thank you again for your feedback.

No problem, feelings not easily hurt.

We may be separated by usage on the toppings issue - the cheap substitute (generic CoolWhip™ ) is, in fact, mostly whipped shortening, but I envisioned actually topping something with pure Crisco™ or the like.  Which would, I think you'lll agree, be gross.

Looking forward to the edit!