A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure

A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure

Todd Offline

Empty Suit

Posts: 2,357
Threads: 230
Joined: Oct 2010

#20

05-18-2016, 11:18 PM

For me, the revision reads better and is an improvement. I think you cleaned up the bird line well. I'm still debating the change of drop to collapse--though I think that's probably a style choice.

The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson

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Messages In This Thread

A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by bedeep - 05-15-2016, 01:43 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by Quixilated - 05-15-2016, 04:17 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-15-2016, 05:17 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by aschueler - 05-15-2016, 06:04 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-15-2016, 06:14 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by Lizzie - 05-15-2016, 12:38 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-15-2016, 07:12 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by Achebe - 05-15-2016, 07:35 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-15-2016, 07:49 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-16-2016, 07:50 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by Quixilated - 05-16-2016, 08:02 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-16-2016, 08:43 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by Lizzie - 05-16-2016, 03:25 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-16-2016, 07:04 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by Lizzie - 05-16-2016, 08:12 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-16-2016, 08:39 PM

RE: A Way to Go - by Todd - 05-17-2016, 12:46 AM

RE: A Way to Go - by bedeep - 05-17-2016, 03:41 AM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by bedeep - 05-18-2016, 08:30 PM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by Todd - 05-18-2016, 11:18 PM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by Quixilated - 05-19-2016, 12:23 AM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by bedeep - 05-19-2016, 01:18 AM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by justcloudy - 05-23-2016, 05:35 AM

RE: A Way to Go renamed The Fire Cure - by bedeep - 05-24-2016, 08:24 AM

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