Clueless

[aschueler]

Clueless

Colonel Mustard failed
to dazzle a tipsy Widow Peacock
with the medals paradoxically nice that you tried 5 syllable word, but the meaning fails.
embellishing his dress uniform
or with war stories recounted
in a snide W.C. Fields drawl. I appreciate this image of wc fields 
Triumphant in ruffling her feathers,
he drew a knife, carved a corpulent
slice of mutton and turned
to other delights.  Weird end of sentence but nicely done feeling of peril 

When he stumbled into Miss Scarlet   Onto or into?
in the ballroom, her purse coughed
up an unnoticed revolver-
eclipsed by his pot-roast belly
and her gravy-boat breasts. Funny
Scarlet’s smile seduced
a ride home, deserting
her stewed escort,
Professor Plum.  Nice sounds seduced with stewed 

Come morning,
servants found Professor Plum
in the conservatory
beneath the rosebushes
with Mrs. Peacock,

both dead to the world.  Originally meant as humor, it still lessens it to be so.  But i enjoyed it.  Perhaps more of the strange characters and items would make it richer, perhaps not