The Poet in Retirement

[dukealien]

You suggested that this line would be better if it were iambic -- "War is now the normal thing, the permanent divide."  I am curious why you said that because it is iambic:

x WAR / is NOW / the NOR / mal THING / the PER / ma NENT / di VIDE

You do know what iambic meter is, don't you?  (I suppose you could call the line trochaic because it begins on a stressed syllable.)

I was looking at the "x" there - if the previous line had ended with an unstressed syllable it wouldn't have made me stumble in the reading.

Oh, do you have any more thoughts on the "dementia" line?  I was satisfied with it until I read your comment.

Sorry, I don't at the moment.  Thinking of my own mother who suffers from the same condition, those rages... a profoundly unsatisfying thing, it is.  You're as likely to have the winning inspiration as I, and it's your poem.*

I should have known that the site is based in Austrailia.  I know some English-speaking people in Hong Kong, so Hong Kong popped into my mind first.

@billy's in the Philippines, the server might be there.

*Check the contest terms carefully - some demand that you swear the poem has never been visible online!