05-18-2016, 07:02 AM
Hi Taboosun,
I understand what the other commentators are saying, but somehow I like your style. I need to dig deep into the meaning of the words and I don't mind in your case. There is a strong abstraction to your words, but I don't think it's meaningless, or unreal, nor that the sentences are disconnected. I think your abstractions are grounded in reality. It's a dramatic reality of seeing yourself in structures of oppression while making efforts to find strength to act out your own agency. At least that is what I make of it.
Maybe, if you always write like this, try to find ways to write more accessible as well.
And yeah "of" should probably be "have".
Best, Ivana
I understand what the other commentators are saying, but somehow I like your style. I need to dig deep into the meaning of the words and I don't mind in your case. There is a strong abstraction to your words, but I don't think it's meaningless, or unreal, nor that the sentences are disconnected. I think your abstractions are grounded in reality. It's a dramatic reality of seeing yourself in structures of oppression while making efforts to find strength to act out your own agency. At least that is what I make of it.
Maybe, if you always write like this, try to find ways to write more accessible as well.
And yeah "of" should probably be "have".
Best, Ivana