Somnambula

[milo]

I agree with homer inasmuch as I love what's here, but I feel like it isn't quite finished. I get the feeling that I'm missing something no matter how many times I read it. I think this is because I haven't read the other pieces, but this is posted as a standalone poem so it should feel like one / do the work of one as well.

Just thoughts.

-jc

---------
Edit: Went back and read the other two poems and this one again and still feel it's incomplete. Might just be me.

Thanks for the read and the comments and good to see you again.

---

I had a hard time finding something tangible with this poem. I feel like maybe you using the first stanza (or whatever) to set up a scene or something to give the reader somewhere to look or go. But as I read the second part I completely lost the scene and imagery you presented in the beginning. I'm not sure what the other two pieces were so perhaps that's what I'm missing. However, I don't feel the incompleteness. It just feels disjointed. Hope this helps.

Thanks for the read and the comments.

---

"In response to Unsleep and too restless to sleep by Todd and be deep irrespectively "

This first line/title is lost on me.  
The poem moves rhythmically, which adds so much to the meaning, imagery, and sound.  
The line "in eternal sleeplessness" seems like an odd way to describe trees.  I agree with the other responses: it feels as if the poem is unfinished.  To what end is this scene taking the reader?  If the arrival is unclear, then give the reader a better sense that there is no definitive ending to this poem. 

Thanks for the read and the comments, it seems there is a common thread here.

---

milo, I like this. In particular, I like your close.

So your first stanza is pretty, but I think you've composed artistry at the expense of clarity. I don't really know what you mean with these three lines. The first two lines of S2 are much the same. Bear in mind though the fault may be in my read.

Past these problematic segments I think your piece really becomes something special. I think you've captured something rare in your last line. I don't quite know what you mean, but it works anyways. That's some real artistry. I look forward to more of yours. Thanks for the read,

- Matt

Thank you for the read and the comments.  My purpose was initially to set up a dichotomy but I see that it didn't work. (night/day, meadow/forest, sleep/unsleep)