05-16-2016, 01:22 AM
(05-15-2016, 11:05 PM)BecktheDog Wrote: Coffee PantsI like the title most of all. The forced pauses with periods are anathema.
A boy who can't walk without crutches
also can't carry a cup of coffee to his room
without spilling,
all. over. his. leg.
The dispossessed feeling of anger and sadness
is waning,
and joy
is taking its place.
Your last stanza would be served better as a an image; that's one of the things that makes things poetic. The subject matter seems fitting and appropriate.

