05-15-2016, 01:18 AM
Hi skylande
Where are you the keeper of my heart? (It seems like you have found them)
How dare you commit such stealing. ( I don't like this line as much I think its the "such stealing" part or maybe the "commit")
Without it, I can't do fine art,"
Or attend to things with feeling.
How dare you brought upon me (this one too. Should it be dare you bring upon me?"
Such crippling soul of passion.
How dare you expect to be free. (this line speaks to me in a way I like)
Capturing you shall be my first action
Stealing love is your greatest crime.(to me, this line contradicts the previous one. Are you the thief or are they?
Torture me, and rob me of my prime.
Just my 2 cents. Thank you for the read brother
Where are you the keeper of my heart? (It seems like you have found them)
How dare you commit such stealing. ( I don't like this line as much I think its the "such stealing" part or maybe the "commit")
Without it, I can't do fine art,"
Or attend to things with feeling.
How dare you brought upon me (this one too. Should it be dare you bring upon me?"
Such crippling soul of passion.
How dare you expect to be free. (this line speaks to me in a way I like)
Capturing you shall be my first action
Stealing love is your greatest crime.(to me, this line contradicts the previous one. Are you the thief or are they?
Torture me, and rob me of my prime.
Just my 2 cents. Thank you for the read brother