~Seeds~

[Lizzie]

I think that there's some really wonderful content here, I'm just not being able to emotionally connect with the pain that I can see on the page. I wonder, and this is just a thought, if you might consider trying this in the Villanelle form. The last two lines were the most powerful for me, and would do well as the repeated lines throughout the poem. The repetition and rhyme in that form could give the reader a sense of continuity throughout the lines, which feel a bit disconnected from each other. All the best to you!