05-13-2016, 09:47 PM
Initially, when I looked at your poem the one, long stanza was a little bit of a turn off. I think there are spots where your poem would benefit from a break. Such as, in between the lines, "in understanding why" and "Of course...." I think stanza breaks would help the reader ascertain a more defined meaning from your poem as well. I got a little lost in the variety of feelings and thoughts.
I really like the line "an indictment from on high." The thought brings to mind a multitude of images and interpretations that add to the overall meaning of your poem.
The idea a fractal poem works well here, because the ending mirrors the beginning, signifying a loss of direction and continuous pain.
Nice work.
I really like the line "an indictment from on high." The thought brings to mind a multitude of images and interpretations that add to the overall meaning of your poem.
The idea a fractal poem works well here, because the ending mirrors the beginning, signifying a loss of direction and continuous pain.
Nice work.