05-13-2016, 04:40 PM
hi taboosun, welcome to the site.
use some imagery/simile instead of intangibles/abstractions.
i have no idea what the first two lines mean, and the third is a large cliche, [cliche are bad unless used very wisely]
and then the rest of the poem hold no meaning for me, i can't get into or relate to it. make it more than just lines of text. let the reader in on the secret.
use some imagery/simile instead of intangibles/abstractions.
i have no idea what the first two lines mean, and the third is a large cliche, [cliche are bad unless used very wisely]
and then the rest of the poem hold no meaning for me, i can't get into or relate to it. make it more than just lines of text. let the reader in on the secret.