A Girl Through The Glass (edit #2.2)

[Quixilated]

To be honest, I don't see anything wrong with "hold sway," I am trying to see what you don't like, and it's not bothering me. (However, I use archaic and made up words in every day life, so I'm probably not the best judge). It says what it means to, it says what IS (does that make sense?). If you do change the words, just don't change the meaning. She could have simply found a place where everything is already upside-down like she is, a place to belong as they say. Instead you have her turn the entire world upside-down by sheer force of will and then hold it down with her feet. It's such a strong image, such a drastic change from a faceless girl who is helplessly floating around in circles. I wish you could see the movie version I have in my head, very inspiring. As for the name debate, I don't know if this is done, but you could compromise and put the information in a footnote. That way people who like to solve the puzzle without the clues can have the mystery, but people who need a little help have a sort of cheat sheet. Is that a thing? Can you put clues in a footnote without it being Norton's Anthology? I don't know. Anyway. If you do take the scissors to this piece, please don't change too much, at least not the heart of it.
--Quix