Lightning Truth

[ChristopherSea]

Hello, Your language is rather pedantic and this piece is jam-packed with way too many abstractions, which are to be totally avoided in poetry. If you read over the Colin Ward's Poetry Tips (a sidebar near the discussion forum), you will see that your poem breaks almost all of the five 'S' rules.  Distill these intangibles down to their substantive residues and express yourself with more concrete imagery. Select a central metaphor and construct your poem around it. Good luck. /Chris