Smoking Stupid

[ellajam]

Big fan of the edit. I like the slower pace and increased focus. I still can't quite wrap by head around frightened string, I like the box of niceness so much, I just don't get from the poem what the fright is about. Maybe in this version it will come to me. Thanks for the read.

New Version

I remember her plated, bronze skin.
And when she talked about my soul,

how it was like a box of niceness, tied
with frightened pieces of cotton string.

She was naked and asked me for a cigarette,
like we were in a sexy movie from the '70's.

"Only for stupid folks," I said, rolling my eyes.
"Maybe it's time you started," she replied.

Been smoking a pack-a-day Old Golds
with thin lips ever since.