Learning

[Taboosun]

Interesting poem. I actually was following it with my mind producing imagery to match every phrase but it stopped after your line "Complete, I matched each gap to spine." Up till then you did a great job of carrying me from metaphorical concept to metaphorical concept but my interest waned when you started talking bout your friend. Im not saying this is wrong, but I want you to know what I noticed in my reading. Im not one to tell you how to write but usually if you ask yourself if you could of transitioned better into your friend line youll get your answer. Keep it up. I seem to be posting a lot of critique about transitions as of late. Its either that im noticing that many poets need to improve on this or maybe I just have a prefrence of writing a piece of poetry that relates and ties together as whole. Nevertheless keep it up.