A Girl Through The Glass (edit #2.2)

[Achebe]

Hi ella - I got the Chagall connection, but didn't see Carroll in this one (other than in the general theme of a girl tumbling through). No idea about Steinem - would it have worked if it'd been Naomi Wolf, for instance (on the Ali G show)?
Was this inspired by the NaPM picture theme?

A Girl Through The Glass
(raised on Carroll, Chagall and Steinem)

She's set apart, she's floating upside down.  
All else seems right, a thriving farming town...'thriving towns' are cliched, and the word does come across as filler. And I don't see anything in the poem to suggest a thriving town...you're making it up!
with goats to milk and fields of hay to scythe,
together animals and men are blithe: ..'together' is closer to 'toGETHER' rather than 'toGEther', and 'animals' as 'AN imals' so the metre feels a little off here, not really IP. Also, rhyming 'blithe' with 'scythe' is a little too predictable, like 'mountain' and 'fountain'.
a happy world, why does she tumble 'round?

Her feet sit high above her like a crown 
but still a smile when turned becomes a frown,
why would she fret with such a peaceful life? ...
She's set apart

beneath her house whose roof points at the ground. 
Within the wedge split by her azure gown
her face is blank. Her empty arms are lithe
but though her husband's near he sees no wife.
Her head hangs low, in floods the first to drown.
Her part is set.  ...nice reverse refrain. But why do you not repeat it?


She has the strength to turn the world her way,
above the city's spikes her will holds sway....'hold sway' - ugh
She makes the scene her own and plants her feet,
stance rooted deep to guard against defeat;
she draws the bold to join in her soiree.

With street-smarts edging her naiveté
she savors life like slow-sipped cabernet;
just mildly buzzed, relaxed but still upbeat.
She has the strength

to cherish but move on from yesterday,
maintain her joie de vivre, a bit risqué
but knowing when to be discreet.
Her husband revels in her grin replete
upon the bed she's made, content they lay
within her strength. ...didn't quite get this bit. I was expecting a Madame Bovariesque twist, but the ending has me confused.



(An attempt. Both Serious and Mild critique are invited, critic's choice. )