Oceans of Silver Cracks (REVISED)

[ellajam]

Hi. QV, I think you've really got something going here. IMO all the endstops don't help. Some notes below.

The eyes can sea

My eyes glistening like polished silverware. I'd use glisten and possibly drop the "ware", it's an image that doesn't really lead any where while just "silver" leaves it open for me but still has that twinkle.
The ocean they hold. You might drop the period and the "being" below.
Being held fast by a blockade of dams.
Slowly crack by crack it falls into shambles. comma instead of period.
Bringing down with it heavenly fire, mermaid tears, and the kindness of elves. I love "the kindness of elves".
Not a drop of water flows. Again, comma instead of period.
Only words on a page escape these many fissures.
What happens now I ask. Either comma after "now" or, my preference, drop "I ask".
I see nothing more than a face that shows no emotion, Is this "emotions" to go with the "they" below?
but contains the sea where they all dwell.

I seconf Casey's suggestiong of Eye Sea. I hope this helps.Thanks for the read.