05-06-2016, 04:02 PM
the problem i have with the poem is it doesn't show me prince or "His" effect on his fans or fellow stars who were also fans. blossomed frills yes, but 20 other soul singers wore frills, personally i felt an opportunity was missed with the absence of purple, doves and a number of other associative words that the man created. no mention of of his free performances, of his love and dedication to being the sole creator of his works from the first word to the last note. on first read you may get who the poem's about [title excluded] but it doesn't trigger any memories i had of the man.
(04-29-2016, 12:53 AM)RC James Wrote: West African melodies dance veiled softly, the meter feels off here by a half foot. i think it also needs a comma or semi colon after dance
belying tough guy stance in blossom frills.
Feeling filtered through masquerade, lofty feeling or feelings?
messages from beyond the righteous hills,
mourning beauties go to their window sills these last two lines don't work for me. what mourning beauties?
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African griots are in the wind above Minneapolis,
their sounds are an elegy to a brother passed.
The whirlwind of performance he maintained
spread through skies caressed in childrens’ eyes.
He summoned the grace, the sensual breath
of beauty in female form, thought, voice,
and led the tribe of urban spirit raiders, televised.
Wry, conspiratorial glances went back and forth
among his chosen, those who stood with him
on that cliff of recognition, plunging night
after night into the brew of hysterical applause.
All the melodies, the trances, the prayers
lie suspended inside memories pulsing.