04-29-2016, 04:19 PM
Hi Wjames
Not much crit on a line by line basis. (punctuation looks sound to me and the lines are perfectly plain).
My only comment was it was a bit predictable and on my first turn through I miss read it -- turned it around to make the committee members the perpetrators that trash the place...so they can have something to action.
S3
They gripe about the kids;
they make a noise, smoke pot in the parks,
and spray paint curse words
all over town.
Not much crit on a line by line basis. (punctuation looks sound to me and the lines are perfectly plain).
My only comment was it was a bit predictable and on my first turn through I miss read it -- turned it around to make the committee members the perpetrators that trash the place...so they can have something to action.
S3
They gripe about the kids;
they make a noise, smoke pot in the parks,
and spray paint curse words
all over town.