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Unknown Lover
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04-28-2016, 10:28 PM
You've definitely got good imagery and I can appreciate that you try to invoke sense like smell but perhaps describe what Aphrodite smells like to enhance the invocation. The use of "electric" seems a little out of place, changing it to "invigorating" or "tantalizing" would really keep the mood flowing. Otherwise, keep it up!
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| Messages In This Thread |
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Unknown Lover - by Queerventions - 04-04-2016, 11:18 AM
RE: Unknown Lover - by billy - 04-04-2016, 02:55 PM
RE: Unknown Lover - by bedeep - 04-04-2016, 07:53 PM
RE: Unknown Lover - by Achebe - 04-05-2016, 03:15 AM
RE: Unknown Lover - by lolowl - 04-05-2016, 08:33 AM
RE: Unknown Lover - by Uncle Tony - 04-05-2016, 09:01 AM
RE: Unknown Lover - by jeh - 04-07-2016, 12:17 PM
RE: Unknown Lover - by homer1950 - 04-17-2016, 06:44 PM
RE: Unknown Lover - by Queerventions - 04-28-2016, 05:21 AM
RE: Unknown Lover - by BraveBlueFlames - 04-28-2016, 10:28 PM
RE: Unknown Lover - by Queerventions - 05-07-2016, 06:36 AM
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