My 1st post - Something from the garden
#5
(04-21-2016, 02:28 PM)lr3ke100 Wrote:  What would it mean to she who passed   
a single room with a lamp left on?    
If two lovers wandered out into their garden         
to live where twilight lives after dark.   
And sit among the leaves and flowers late to bloom.   
where the wild rasberries grow.    
Like chords from the string,     
only speaking of inconsequent things    
When he writes, he'll think of her constantly.   
And she, understands what the writing means.   
All he may mark would be his own,    
offset by what is hers alone.     
Agreeing and adding to what others have said already. L-1 and 2 You are posing a question. Then at L-3 you start the line with the word "If". To me as the reader it makes me think you are extending question to that line as well. It reads in my thoughts like this. 

What would it mean to she who passed   
a single room with a lamp left on?    
 
What would it mean to she If two lovers wandered out into their garden to live where twilight lives after dark. And sit among the leaves and flowers late to bloom. where the wild raspberries grow.    
 
As the reader since I don't know I was expecting that you would tell me. Or that those things meant nothing to her i. e. things inconsequential. 
 
If the latter then the set up for what follows next makes no sense. If the former and it is a rhetorical question, how could I know the answer? 
 
Just something to think about.


Messages In This Thread
My 1st post - Something from the garden - by lr3ke100 - 04-21-2016, 02:28 PM
RE: My 1st post - Something from the garden - by homer1950 - 04-25-2016, 08:55 AM
RE: My 1st post - Something from the garden - by ComfortablyDisfunctional - 04-26-2016, 09:40 PM



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