04-22-2016, 06:25 PM
(04-21-2016, 09:51 AM)lr3ke100 Wrote: I don't know what it's missing but it seemed to me incomplete. I'll revisit this and have more feedback soon. Definitely feels like it is lacking something..I was feeling playful when this was wrote but maybe it could use some polish.
Thanks for reading and commenting
Luna
(04-21-2016, 10:31 AM)Achebe Wrote: The first line looks a bit too long for a songThanks for reading.
But 'taint wrong, if you feel fondly about it
Let it remain, through ir3ke feel strongly about it :-)
In your own, each bone comes alive
the skeleton jangles in its perfunctory sleeve....
(Chris Martin)
the skeleton jangles in its perfunctory sleeve....
(Chris Martin)

