04-21-2016, 02:17 PM
You go in some nice directions. Even it I'm allegedly to blame. If I were titling this I might consider Schrödinger's Forest.
Just for how you handle in between states in S2 (though no issue with your current title). The Shh in S3 also feels like a turn almost. The race to the finish from Shh is exquisite. My only real call out is that I think cutting: " in rhythmless / chorus," might improve the whole.
Enjoyed what you did here.
Best,
Todd
Just for how you handle in between states in S2 (though no issue with your current title). The Shh in S3 also feels like a turn almost. The race to the finish from Shh is exquisite. My only real call out is that I think cutting: " in rhythmless / chorus," might improve the whole.
Enjoyed what you did here.
Best,
Todd
The secret of poetry is cruelty.--Jon Anderson